Halloween is an all-USA-party. I never liked it – except for the chocolate part.
Then, I moved to the US and OH LOVE! I just wished I had known some things before going there…
I wished I had known I shouldn’t have…
– told my roommate “no sweetie, you don’t get it, those aren’t Halloween costumes, they’re obviously sexual costumes”. She was right…
– dressed up as a zombie. Not that it isn’t cool (indeed) Just that people don’t care about all the “it’s Halloween I want to dress as something bloody and scary!” thing.
– trick or treated without kids. That was creepy. Still, I got candies.
– arrived at a party at 11pm when they said it was supposed to start at 9pm. Not the French way. Everybody had left already.
– tried a smartish costume. 99% of the people didn’t get the 1% joke.
However, I wished I had known I should have…
– showed my boobs. Or my legs. Or both (wait, both x2) Basically, review your style: you can’t be a regular zombie. You have to be a sexy / slutty zombie. You should be a slutty 1%. Or a slutty Red Riding Hood. You can be anything, as long as it’s slutty. Even Sesame Street, yes (thanks Shay for this one)
– trick or treated WITH kids (but without the slutty costume, obviously) It’s the cutest / most authentic thing you’ll live. Plus, you’ll get candies.
– arrived at the party at 9pm. It’s Halloween but we have class tomorrow. Or, gotten new friends.
For my USAmerican fellows, if you have a foreigner friend around, or even if you don’t, please, do the followings:
– go to a corn maze. Get lost on purpose.
– jump on haystacks.
– choose your pumpkin wisely. “It has to talk to you“.
– carve a pumpkin.
– carve two pumpkins.
– carve as many pumpkins as you like.
– drink apple cider.
– dress up. Don’t slutty dress up. “Be authentic”
– still, don’t be pc. It’s boring.
– watch the Gremlins. Well, you don’t have to do that one, but still, you should do it…
– just for once, don’t be a hecking hipster. Just be a kid again.