Tip, I hate you.

I went back to France for a while and it was wonderful. Everything was wonderful, of course, it was home. I got to eat food without cinnamon, take the bus, be strong and not use the bathroom for a whole day… “Bref”, I was back home!

And then, I realized that something gets me really mad in the US: tips.

When I go out, I don’t want to be thinking about the fact that the person serving me might not be able to pay his / her rent if I leave a poor tip. Which actually makes me a good tipper. I’d always go with 20 percent, it’s safe and easy to calculate.

But because of this tip-thing, waiters have an attitude that I really dislike: I feel like I’m a brat on her sweet sixteen’s. They’ll come to you thinking that you’ll be the one paying them, so they’ll answer all your desires, though they’re thinking how much they hate you. There’s something wrong about that. Clients get to think that they can do anything and behave badly. Don’t say thanks. Don’t be nice. Be direct and expect to be served right away.

When I’m back home, I know exactly what the waiters are thinking about me, they don’t pretend. So if I get a smile, I know they mean it. Because anyway, they can be rude, they’ll still be paid. I’m sorry, but I love rude waiters. I love knowing that we are on the same level. When I’m in the US, I feel like I should act like I’m better than the waiters. That they are worthless. I don’t, but I see a lot of people acting like that. Just because you tip doesn’t give you the right to be a bastard. At the same time, I also wish I could tell the American waiters “wait, I’ll tip you, stop behaving like that!” and maybe I should – as a lot of people – start to have my own list and grade the waiters /20, every mistake making you lose one percent of your tip. Ready?

If you:

  • smile too much: -3
  • laugh too loud: -3
  • ask me how my food is before I even started: -4
  • ask me how my food is more than twice (if it was good two minutes ago believe me, it’s still good): -4
  • ask me how I’m doing when it’s NOT your concern: -3
  • ask me about my accent: -3
  • tell me it’s a cute accent: -19

Well, I might end up being paid for eating out!


About Leslie Is Hungry

I’m a French student who decided to stay in the US when she was supposed to go back. Here is my experience as a non-exchange student, as a foreigner, as a woman, as an intern. Welcome to the Amerifrench life!
This entry was posted in Food stuff, Just sayin', Posts in English and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Tip, I hate you.

  1. Beverly says:

    Funny. I recently ate out and I think I should have said up front, “I’m going to tip you, so just relax a little… don’t hover.” I think this is a great idea.

  2. I’m with you — I get total tipping anxiety, too! I love your system for calculating the tip. I will have to use that next time I eat out.

  3. Jade says:

    Au fait, sympa ta liste !

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