I got used to some cultural shocks. Not to all of them though. For example, I still don’t get this “getting married” thing.
On my first day of class, some girl asked my 18 year old roommate: “What did you think of the boys? One of them will be your husband!” She was serious. Okay, she was also a sorority girl, but it doesn’t excuse everything, does it?
And as I went on in my Midwestern life, I realized that for a lot of girls, getting married was the ultimate goal in life. Getting married to someone you think you love is good. Getting married to someone who studies medicine is better. I actually met some girls telling me that they were studying in order to find a good (understand: rich) husband and become housewives. That’s a lot of self-esteem! I later learnt that they have a noun: MRS.-degree. Let me tell you something: when you have a word for something, it’s already too late.
The MRS-degree are not the only ones. Some girls just want to get married because… well, I still don’t know why. It seems to me that people think that getting married will create a new dimension to their love. It surely does create a new dimension to your life, but is it supposed to change the way you feel towards someone? Getting married is not anymore a long-time engagement, it’s a one day celebration in which the bride is supposed to be the most beautiful and important girl. The groom is kind of important too – but he comes second. And for the bridesmaids… the only thing we ask them is to be less beautiful than the bride. Well, the good point is that when you get to see the pictures, you’re having a really good laugh! It seems that the bride picks the dresses thinking “is it ugly enough?”.
Then, you have the people who wait to be married in order to live together – or more. It might surely make the proposal come faster! Living together is such a huge engagement, I would have hated getting married, moving in with my new husband and realizing I hated his habits. Well, too late, you signed, you’re screwed!
Since I moved here, I’ve met so many young girls who are now getting married… I’m not against marriage, I’m just wondering “why do you need to do that at the beginning of your life?” France’s average age for marriages is 30. A lot of my friends have lived together for years and are not married. They’re not less happy. They have time to think about the decisions they’re making. They’re not less committed to each other either.
I’m not happy, though, when people ask me why my boyfriend and I don’t get married and get upset when I say we don’t want to. I’m not happy when people tell me that marrying him would get me a green card.
So, Midwestern girls, let’s make it clear: I’m 23, I don’t want to get married and I’m perfectly happy.